♥Jess`ca ong
S H O U T
She's imperfectly perfect.
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scold her, she kept silent.
nag at her, she yells.
step on her tail, she bitch.
let her go hungry, she bites.
pamper her, she booast.
truely ♥ her, she purrs ;)
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Friday, July 22, 2011
The feeling is indescribable.
Soon, i found myself panting and grasping for air when i alighted.
Rushed over to cold storage, bought a 11% Long Island Tea.
Hurried to finish up my dinner so that i can drink dwn my sorrow.
Yet, i hv totally no appetite. Again.
Thereof i only scoop less than half of the bowl of rice. Mama knew things were not right, kept asking me what exactly happened in the most motherly lovey way.
But i'm so sorry. I can't tell. I didn't really know wad's wrong.
Forcefully ate one spoon of rice w a bite of toufu, almost vomited.
Painfully ate another spoon of rice w my fav soup, that's it.
I'm not gonna torture myself to eat when i hv de urge to vomit & seriously no appetite at all.
All i think of is that Long Island Tea in de fridge.
I drank & did stupid stuff.
Make quite a 'scene' on fb.
Kinda regretted nw.
But glad to find out i hv many frens who're concern for me.
Thanks again :)
and............. I called jb.
So so so so glad i did.
Because
(1) I realize he has no influence on me anymore, not even a slightest bit! I even feel literally empty when he told me he is getting married nxt year (w that 3rd party). Seriously like nth.
Though i did not say anything but that is bcos i dun feel anything.
No pain, no sadness, no jealousy, no happy, not even a dots or wadehell feeling or wadever emotion u guys can think of.
I feel void.
It's a joyous thing to be happy about. Very glad ^^.
(2) I am more witty when i spoke to ppl like him. & i realized, he did not change at all. & now i clearly see what my frens hv all told me that he is not a good guy for me. As clear as Jon's perfect eyesight.
(3) THE MOST IMPORTANT AND MOST HAPPY THING IS THAT,
i realize i am v gladful that he had dumped me and went for that girl instead!!!
Cos after talking to him on de phone, i realized how much moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee better my current boyf is man! hahahaha! Seriously very happy sia! Hehe.
So when he asked me, "You feeling better now (after talking to me) ?"
I said "Ok-ok."
HONESTLY.
Feeling sooooooo much better! Cos i realized of so many things as of wad i mentioned above.
Feeling better not bcos we talked.
Feeling better bcos i found out that i hv totally drop any weeny bits of feelings for him, meaning i alr get over him, totally. And bcos i realize how good Jon is bcos of how bad jb still is.
The feeling is.. amazing. Unexpected de amazing.
To wrap things up, though i end up still crying today at night, but the start of today morning is good. With tina's blessing and concern. With Jon's more effort to reply my text more often (and in a more Jonathan way).
Afternoon was just as stressful as usual during work. But Alicia helped me out :)
& nw, she gets to understand how stressful i felt alone yest when wad she did was actually nth as compared to mine.
She has a right in whining at her work too, but i hv went through that before like long long time ago when she was very relax sitting on the arm chair watching video. :)
It's time we share some common stress.
I feel less stressful even though i knew i am responsible for it at the end of the day.
& weird lor.
I am an intern at DHL from RP who gets $440 a month.
She is an intern at DHL from RP who gets $44o a month.
Same supervisor.
But i am doing more. And always the one carrying the burden of "responsibilities".
Hope everyone of you has a greater day than me! :)
7/22/2011 03:49:00 AM