♥Jess`ca ong
S H O U T
She's imperfectly perfect.
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scold her, she kept silent.
nag at her, she yells.
step on her tail, she bitch.
let her go hungry, she bites.
pamper her, she booast.
truely ♥ her, she purrs ;)
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Basecodes: kisses.away
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Sunday, July 3, 2011
I thot i hv long bcome a cold hearted person after my ex incident.
Little did i know.
I'm still me.
Hy and christina are someone who're close to me for years.
Seeing how struggling they are. Remind of my pity self back then. & how heart wrenching i am. & how terrible i am making ppl around me cried when i cried.
I rmb...... Always rmb.
How my mom sat beside my bed and cried w me.
How sissy came over to my hse & accompanied me thru de night and cried w me too just bcos im too sad and called both xian & sissy up.
How jiaying cried when i updated my blog about my current situation. Or when xian told her.
How naz teared too & was so furious w him when i msned her about my ex cheated me to a hotel, drunk me, and raped me. & then i found out that 3rd party smsed him the next morning like how couples always do.
Even my sis who're always opposing me, she actually wrote letters & put it on our dressing table. Telling me to be strong and take care.
Even my xiaomei who're just 10yrs old. She felt angry too about wad he did to me. And then gave me a i-felt-sorry-for-you face.
How i wasted myself in the club bcos i thot noone else cared about me anymore.
How all my other frens despise him & trying so hard to make me realise it's a blessing in disguise.
& they are right.
It has been 1 year plus. But everything still feel fresh & vivid on my mind.
Especially after i read Tina's blog.
Everything came back. All the sensitive emotions. All the memories.
The saddest part;
I wanted to help her like what my friends did, but i know. Everything still lies in ones believes.
If she could not forget him. She won't get out of this sorrow. Forever.
Even if she did like i do. Look what i am now.
More cruel and insensitive to love ones, yes. Vulnerable, still yes.
In the end, not only will i hurt my love ones, but i myself too.
Lucky thing is, I am fortunate to hv Jonathan.
I hurt him like countless of times. Yet his loves for me nvr shaken.
Just a few days ago, my trust for him has broken bcos of a stupid resemblance action which i experienced many times in the past. Truth is, its just my mistaken.
I hv actually secretly sewed back my heart.
Trying hard to open back to him once again. But i guess. I need to try harder. Bcos i knew, i do not trust easily now.
Wish me best! :)
& my dear frens too..
7/03/2011 03:14:00 AM