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scold her, she kept silent.
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let her go hungry, she bites.
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Sunday, September 12, 2010

Fireworks

always make me feel at least a little tinge of happiness.

So i hope this 2010 NDP fireworks i've taken weeks ago have the same magical for people around me who're feeling blue.

I have so many things to say till i dunno whr to start . . .

..........................................................................................................................................................................

................................................................................................................................................................Ok.

I think i shall start from the day when i accidentally met JB at woodlands int.

It had been like ages since i last met him after the returning of guitar, apart from wee accompany that i felt at least not as sad, i didn't take a look at him.

Not that i dun want to.

But i dare not to.

That is how coward i am.

I kept the feeling of hope to myself.

Hoping that he can at least tell me why ...........................

He did msn-ed me the day after,

but i just monotone-ly replied him, then i stopped replying after he asked a qn.

[i've forgotton wad he'd asked...]

Then,

after my statistic for UT3 which left me feeling fcuking sian cos i know confirm fail alr.

I met up Alan & errr forget his name le, for dinner that i've promised like so many weeks le but always failed to have it.

I were so super emo when we're walking to woodlands int cos im so worried and freaking out that test of mine.

When we're just entering 969 queue, i just turned my head to someone.. a guy..

& i realized he kept staring at me.

Normally,

i will just turn away.

But this guy he really really seems strangely familiar .

We locked our stares for a few seconds & i was totally fcuking shaken.

It was tanjunbin.

The realization really shocked me cos i really trembled ..

I told Alan i saw my ex.

But well, he didnt know about my story.

He even joking-ly said "Let's go his hse play majong.."

I dun blame him.

Just feeling emo + more emo .

Then.. he sms-ed me:

"U just now at interchange right?"

"You must have seen the wrong girl."

"Confirm is u. Y u still say not u? U hate me dun wan to see right?"

"If you think she's me then is me lor."

"So is that u just now right."

"I'm wif my frens now, busy."

"Nvm. I know confirm is u. But u dun wan to say is u. I also have nth to say cos i know u for 1year 9mths 14days."

Seriously

fuck him.

Why do he have to say all this after doing all that.

Isn't it pointless alr ?!

& thanks for telling me.

Cos i seriously have no idea how long we've been tgt & how long we've broken up.

Wee joined us for dinner after sometime & in a way he kept pleading me to acc him more..

But no.

No more soft-heart le..

It was not early anymore

& i have to rush back home to shower, prepare stuff for toning at fren's hse to study for my next test.

I did told wee that i saw my ex.

I guess he couldn't really know how i felt too.

In fact ..

I've told many of them.

Jon, Misa, Sissy, even my xiao mei.

I only told my xiao mei, "Yest, i saw someone i hate the most."

& she knows who.

I wanted to tell my mum wadsup wif me recently too.

& whenever she asked wad's wrong wif me, i so so wanted to tell her that i saw him.

& i so so wanted to ask her ..

"If i've got a new boyf, wad will you think?"

Both of these issues,

i dun dare to say any.

I simply called "Mummy......."

& i couldn't say out a single thing when she's waiting outside the door.

She was so desperate to hear me to talk to me.

But i was so coward.

None of them seems to realize i am really really really ...

I can only hold back my tears & move on ..

On that very same day,

Sissy told me something on msn.

Paiseh girl..

i was revising 6P for my UT3 , before i can reply u, u're alr gone.

Even so,

i replied, "If you dun wan ur secrets to be out, then dun seek help from people."

This sentence was applied to me when i got backstabbed .

Surprisingly, this sentence was in good use again & it was applied on her.

Then during the self-break,

i went to read hy's blog..

emo + emo + emo + this emo.

Duper emo.

When i was going to slp,

Yan text me for drinking on next monday.

He wanted to tell me things i guess.

He has been so troubled recently & he keep on asking me out for drinks but i'm so unavailable.

Sorry dude.

On this very day..

i can only say "Today is not my day."

Credits ~ Jamie

9/12/2010 06:12:00 PM