♥Jess`ca ong
S H O U T
She's imperfectly perfect.
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scold her, she kept silent.
nag at her, she yells.
step on her tail, she bitch.
let her go hungry, she bites.
pamper her, she booast.
truely ♥ her, she purrs ;)
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Monday, March 8, 2010
People come, people go.
Reason is simple...
Feelings come, feelings fade.
To put in a ghastly way,
People changed, be it good or in a bad way.
Since last year.
i realised ppl around me always misunderstand me, & it happens too frequently.
de most speechless thing is..
I always have this belief, "one of the days, they will understand me."
Of course.
most of de time it doesnt work de way i want it to be
my aunt ...
she misunderstand me for many things.
exploded to me one fine day & said dreadful things like i should just slp on street & its such a misfortune dat my father have bore me. Even accused me for being such a slut, anyhow seduce guys to take as a bf.
& blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ...
until now,
everything changed in family gathering.
my siblings ...
my bro 一口咬定 i nvr iron clothes.
whenever someone did that, it boils me.
In a fit of anger, i just said "Yar."
i saw everyone in my fam was like.. "I knew it. She sure nvr iron wan.."
& i dun bother to tell them de truth.
Bcos if u wan to think this way of me, let u be..
but my sis dat day 良心发现.. cos she was still up that night, so she told him i did iron.
my parents ...
just not long ago.
my mummy found me using my sis lappy late at night.
she 一口咬定 i nvr ask sis & even claimed dat i slp halfway, wake up secretly use her lappy.
i just said, "wad are you talking about."
& she continue niam me.
so i dun bother her.
she even shout at me de nxt day for this thing & even told daddy about it.
de naked truth is.
1st - i had asked my sis's permisson before she heeds to bed.
2nd - i just showered not long before my mum sudden wakes up & spot check.
So,
how i slp halfway wake up wif my hair still super wet?!
Since she wants to think this way, let her be..
Up till now, she still doesnt have a clue about this.
But nvm.. im used to it.
my ex ...
this wan, i dun need & i dun wan to say more.
now, my friends ...
sigh.
i can only say.
since things had ended up this way.
& considered settle le.
jiu dun bring up & say anymore..
Just move on with our current life..
No use harping on things that is alr past.
Just like we dun like our boyf to bring out de past & keep talking about it when
1st - alr over
2nd - alr explained & settle
Everything is not perfect, i agree.
but it takes more than a mouth, more than an action, more than a words to hurt someone.
I'm not sure whether u all understand wad i just said.
But basically, i just want to let u all know is that..
If you guys want to think in anyway of me, i wont make a noise about it.
Bcos i always belief that if you truely understand wad a person i am, u won't hesitate to judge wrongly for who a person i am.
Simply put.
Don't jump into conclusion.
This.
Is the unspoken rule that people with people should have de.
Especially for ppl closest to u, knowing u for super long.
it shouldnt be like this.
But if it is.. it just reflect how u always look at me.
Put a knife on my heart,
pluck it out, there will still be hole down there.
Even if de hole has healed.
Unforgettable scars are left down there.
I can forgive super fast.
cos im just stupidly super softhearted.
Want me to forget, also very simple.
Cos i simply am just super forgetful.
But if i really gotten seriously hurt in real pain after a big cry..
How to forget de pain when it keeps reminding me wad ppl around me did to me, times & again, times & again, times & again...
Tell me, how to learn to trust people again.
i dun trust u all, becos u all dun trust me.
Simple as that.
Labels: I have to be strong-er, i need to be
3/08/2010 03:23:00 AM