♥Jess`ca ong
S H O U T
She's imperfectly perfect.
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scold her, she kept silent.
nag at her, she yells.
step on her tail, she bitch.
let her go hungry, she bites.
pamper her, she booast.
truely ♥ her, she purrs ;)
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Tuesday, July 21, 2009
this is how i cry
each time i felt dat unbearing pain in my heart.
i cant stop crying.
even till i cannot breathe at all.
Crying over de things you did in de past, over de things u did now,
Crying over de things you said and mean it for real this time.
the little things you said hit me so big.
i dunno whether to belive them or toss them aside.
All these signals.
i am so confused.
Crying for dat holy wed. night
Crying for dat sms i found.
Crying for not able to let go.
Crying for why u can.
Crying when i saw those roses u once gave wif surprise.
de teddy bears. minnie mouse. eeyore bolster. de big big eeyore. neoprints. same shirt. all sorts of receipts. movie tickets. un-eaten sweets. photos. dat 'promise' letter u made a pact wif me. tigger. 'qi zai'.
they are all in my box dat i'd specially made.
& de hearts u folded for me.
where's de 100th hearts u promise to fold and things dat r suppose to happen ne?
Crying when i rmb de tent we used to share at ecp.
Crying when i rmb u carried me all de way to clinic in de middle of de night when i got stroke from high fever.
Crying when i rmb i qurreled wif my sista bcause of you & we ton at ur aunt's place.
Crying when i rmb u will always chase me back in all ur might.
Crying when i rmb u are so firm wif ur love for me ...
but wad happened now?
u alr told me so clearly u alr dun like me.
& dat we're no way to be tgt.
u even say i should not have forgiven u for so many times back then.
when u keep saying dun always talk about de past when it alr past!
u told me to forget u WHICH I CAN'T.
u told me to find other WHICH I CAN'T.
we did so much things.
& ends up nth.
i can't believe.
i can't stop myself from still loving, still hoping, still missing, still crying ...
Labels: heck me, im mumbling in depression again
7/21/2009 12:54:00 AM