♥Jess`ca ong
S H O U T
She's imperfectly perfect.
style="visibility:hidden;width:0px;height:0px;" border="0" width="0" height="0" src="http://stuff.pyzam.com/misc/CXNID=1000015.12NXC.gif" />
scold her, she kept silent.
nag at her, she yells.
step on her tail, she bitch.
let her go hungry, she bites.
pamper her, she booast.
truely ♥ her, she purrs ;)
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Friday, June 19, 2009
LOST & NOT FOUND.
i've learnt.
2 loving ppl tgt isnt only about 2 ppl's affair.
it entangle wif so many others.
i dont love his wealth,
because he has nth.
i dont love his looks/ body,
because he has none.
i dont love his attire,
because he doesnt knows fashion.
i dont love his wisdom,
because he doesnt has much.
i dont love his temper,
because he has too much.
one thing for sure.
i love his humble,
when he's poor.
when he got his pay,
i love his anxiousness to buy me anything i ask for.
even a ridiculous request like getting a LV bag
or a prada purse/ a diamond ring,
he agreed to get for me w/o hesitation.
i declined.
because even i felt de pinch for his hardearn $
wasted on something that is only in-a-heat-of-moment.
i nvr despise him not having enuff notes in his wallet/ not enuff numbers in his card.
because i just love de way he skipped his entire meal
(breakfast cum lunch cum dinner)
just to treat me for a movie.
i value so much more
a skimpy bowl of yong tau foo shared,
more than a easy-to-get meal at sakae sushi.
Because all de hard way in getting certain things,
are so much more memorable & sweet (:
wad for being wif someone so suave
but ends up being so nervous wrecking?
if i cant even eat comfortably bcause i care so much how he will think i look like?
& always being jealous of ppl trying to hook him?
that'll be so uncomfortable.
not many is lucky to be born good-looking
so long i feel absolutely comfortable wif him
is all i ask for ^^.
isnt it better if all de focus is on me? ^^.
he definately doesnt have any fashion sense
and hate shopping/ didnt wan to change anything nicer before he met me.
but he's willing to change to have a little shop wif me
and even tried on anything i ask him to.
it's a big step for him.
because i wont forget how hard it is to convince him to shop for better clothes,
or even buying them.
we even had our quarrelssss back then for this little issue.
even though he aint as smart as expected,
he do have his little clever now and then
that nvr fails to surprise me & leaving me speechless in awe.
even now,
i still doesnt love his temper.
but i love de way he come pleaing for forgiveness like one little boy who realise his mistakes.
& knowing this boy will commit another same mistake
de mother still forgives this boy.
He has short fuse.
so do i.
so do i.
but he except everything about me w/o flinch.
because he just loves me. (i hope)
he has so much flaws
that left me heart broken for countless of times.
but i except all of them as well.
because i just love him too.
wad's de point in loving one another,
when people around us keep objecting us tgt?
he tried to talk me dat i'm de one he's dating, not others.
& i also did tried so hard to ignore all those negatives.
but when it comes to continous impact,
especially from his family,
i really couldnt afford to tolerate all those humility anymore.
no matter how much i love him,
how much i miss being wif him,
i have to stick wif my decision.
For
we will still end up quarreling over his acceptance from his family.
& i hate quarreling.
i really hate.
because i only know how to cry.
my insomia nights return.
i cried every night
till my face filled wif sticky tears & grossy mucus,
till my eyes turn sore & eyebrows red,
till my body went numb,
till my heart really trobbing in pain dat i felt difficult to breathe.
i really felt de pain in heart,
physically pain.
i'm so in pain till i felt so tired,
then i finally get to sleep out of exhaustion.
this has become my every night routine.
i've to smile away or remain silent whenever ppl ask me about us.
because i dun wan tears streaming down my cheeks & got sympathy frm ppl.
for there are almost none dat wanted us to be tgt.
i have to shut every thoughts that concern him & i,
because it's hard to control my tears.
i hate showering now.
i hate taking bus now.
i hate commercial that aired on tv dat only reminds me looking at de same commercial when i used to catch a movie wif him.
especially sleeping time, i hate the most.
practically,
i hate being left alone.
i've to keep myself so busy, so occupied,
so that i can forget to think about my missing piece in life.
one word.
tired.
Labels: goodbye my love.
6/19/2009 03:01:00 AM